Saturday, September 18, 2010

Frustrated but also Grateful

I am going to start off and say that I am thankful for my job, this opportunity, and all that I am learning. I know that things could be worse, so I probably shouldn't complain, but I am going to vent a little. These are just growing pain frustrations. At some point I will be use to these things, and they won't bother me, but today they do.
I am frustrated by my lack of car. I am choosing not to spend my money on a car, but that is because of cost, driving on the other side of the road, and crazy driving. Today just as a passenger it was scary.  I am thankful for the rides I do get, and the bus I am able to ride for school.  I am getting better since I first moved here with having no car.
I am frustrated by humidity. I don't have the ability to do laundry where I live, but I do have a place I can take my clothes and do laundry, and I am grateful for that. I am frustrated with the fact that I did my laundry and because it was super humid today, by the time I left at 8:00p.m. even my first load was still very damp. This causes me to have to hang up damp clothes in my closet and around the room so that they can continue to air dry. I have to be invented as to where to hang all the clothes to dry. I think on Wednesday I am going to see if I can get this rack things to put in my room for hang laundry as it continues to dry.
I did get a microwave, so I am no longer frustrated about not having one. I can't wait to use it.
I am frustrated by not being able to cook where I live. I am grateful for the ability to use another person's kitchen to do some cooking. I am also frustrated by the lack of ingredients that I need to make dishes I am familiar with. I am sure as time goes on, and I try more food and people give me recipes I can make that will go away too.
I got a water heater, so I am no longer frustrated with cold showers. I still have to find someone to install it and have it installed, so it may be another week before I can use it but eventually it will happen.
I am frustrated with money. I haven't had the ability yet to settle in once place and start saving money. I have had to spend money to get set up in a new place and then leave, where I then lose some money, and have to spend more money to set up in a new place. I hope to get settled some place, so I can start saving money. I don't think I am a person that wants to move around my whole life and teach in different places. I would like to find a really great place to settle down.
I am frustrated with the heat and humidity. I have heard that it takes at least 2 months to get used to it, and I have only been here 3 weeks. I am tired of getting super sweaty every day, all the breakouts on my body, even my back from sweating, clothes sticking to me, my ankles swelling up ( they actually haven't done that since my first week here, but they did really bad today). My freshly washed clothes not drying.  That when I go for a walk I get all hot, sweaty, and tired. I would get more exercise if I didn't feel so drained afterward due to heat and humidity.
I am frustrated that they don't have sidewalks for people to walk on, they don't heed pedestrians, they don't have crosswalks or walk lights. Between that and getting hot, sweaty, and tired I don't walk many places. If it was not so hot and humid, and they had walk lights and gave pedestrians the right of way I would probably walk more places and really not miss having a car. I have a place just down the street that I would like to go to, but it is passed this major intersection (one of the busiest in the town). They are in a hurry here and don't wait for people to cross. I could stand there forever and probably not cross. There is no time of day that is not busy for me to go at that time.
I am frustrated that I had to leave behind my cats, that I miss them terribly, and I don't think they really miss me anymore. 
I don't feel homesick like I did the first time I moved away a long way from home, but I do miss things that I have had for years.
I am frustrated by loneliness. I know that I haven't lived here for very long, but I miss my friends. I miss visiting with people everyday. There are many people that are super busy and while it was easy to keep working on things while visiting it takes more to write e-mails. I miss going and doing things with my friends. I joined this site called The Kuantan Guide- for people living here that maybe have just moved here. There was this lady that started it up and for some reason she was going to discontinue it but someone else decided to take over. I haven't gotten much in the way of response to things I have posted from people. There hasn't been an activities posted in the last month and a half for people to do.  They do have a Kuantan International Ladies Group, but they meet during the school day when I am working. My coworkers are nice, and I am sure it will take more time to get to know them and them to know me.  I don't know that I see us doing things outside of school together. I am grateful for the my Aunt and Uncle being in the same town as me. I am grateful that I have someone to visit with, show me around, and do things with. I still really miss my friends though. I am hurt by those friends who are jealous or mad at me for moving here and are being jerks about it instead of being happy for me, and realizing that it is in some ways hard for me than for them.  
I am grateful for all the things I do have. I have a friend who is working as a missionary in Swaziland. He and his wife have posted pictures and stories of some of the children they are working with. It is so sad that so many are abused, have HIV or AIDS, are raped, don't get much for food or medical care or an education. I think what they are doing is really wonderful and must be much harder than what I am doing.  I am sure they get frustrated by things that I don't even have to deal with.


  1. I feel bad you are frustrated with those things as you have so much to adjust to...I keep hoping there will be that one group of people you will meet and enjoy being with. Glad to hear you got a water heater...I know when we went to Kansas, I washed clothes and hung them up in our motel room as I don't use the dryer for most things, and the day we left, a pair of my capris were still damp. Wondering how your haircut was to fix???? I sure liked it...loved the way she cut the back of it:) I need some having a hard time getting motivated today. Remember, I think of you daily and can't wait to check up on your blogs when I get home...all of this is blocked at the school. Take care my friend:)

  2. Don't feel bad. It is just growing pains as I get adjusted to living here. I know in time I will figure out the best way to do things and then it will no longer be a problem. I am going to have to come up with a different plan for washing my clothes though. I got them hung up around the room to finish drying but was awake at 4 this morning because my room was extremely hot and humid, I am sure from all the damp clothes as they are drying. I turned the air con back on, since it usually gets too cold to sleep with it on. I turned it back off after about an hour with the room had cooled enough to sleep. I wish there was some way I could do less clothes on Saturday so they would have longer to dry.
    My hair did well yesterday when I fixed it and it looked good. Having it slightly shorter has helped it to curl more. I still have it long enough though that I can pull the top and sides up when I start to get really hot, so that it helps to cool me down.
    I know you think of me and are good about communicating with me, but it is still not the same as getting to see you in person. I really appreciate it though, because I could not have anyone communicating with me. For some people I am sure it is out of sight, out of mind. If I am not there to come in and visit with them they don't remember to e-mail me and let them know what is happening with them.