Wednesday, August 18, 2010

The Night Before

Well, it is the night before I leave. I have my two action packers packed and my carry-on bag and a huge bag I am taking as my purse, so I can fit the laptop. Mom, Dad, and I were going to go out to dinner for a birthday dinner with them, but we didn't. The closing date on my Dad's house was moved up to today and the realtor forgot to tell my Dad before yesterday. He was busy with tha, and we had to eliminate a few things and repack my bags because they were too heavy, so we had Quizno's for dinner at my house on the side patio. The tweeds came out with us and as it got dark they explored farther and farther from the house. When I went to go get them they kept running away from me. I thought it was going to be the end of them. But Onyx got scared by a dog that was barking and Dad circled around behind Snickers and scared her into coming back. I know that tonight and tomorrow evening are going to be the hardest. Even though I am way excited part of it still does not seem real. Tonight I will sleep with my tweeds for the last time for a long time. I have hardly been away from them this last year. It makes me sad to think they aren't going to understand why I don't come back. I know that they will eventually adjust and get over it but it doesn't make me feel any better tonight. It is also the last night in my place, which I have been blessed to have for over a year. It is better than not at all, but I am sure in the future it is going to be hard sometimes to not have my stuff and my own house. It was hard the months I lived with Mom and Dad again because I am used to living alone, and I like it that way. Tomorrow evening will be hard to when I say good-bye to Mom and Dad. I know they will do ok, but I can't just pop in to visit them and stay for dinner. I won't be able to fix the computer when something goes wrong.
I don't cry very often, but I will admit I am crying now. Two years will go quickly, but at the same time lots can happen in two years that I could miss. Even though my parents are in pretty good health, things happen. I hope that they don't, and they lived for a long time to come. My Maternal Grandma isn't doing well, and I saw her at Easter but it wasn't a good visit because she felt so poorly. I had promised to come visit them this summer but that was before I found out I would be looking for a job. I didn't go to my cousin's wedding in Minnesota because I was applying for jobs and waiting for interviews. So it will be a long time before I see my maternal grandparents, and maybe I won't ever see my grandma again. I will feel bad if she passes away while I am gone.
Once I get there I am sure the excitement will set in again. I am sure I will still have periods where I am homesick. I am so glad that the internet, cell phones and skype have all been invented, and I have access to them. Well, I should head to bed. I still have a few things to take care of in the morning. When I went to the bank to make arrangements for my accounts I didn't think to get money and that will be vital in my travels. Plus, the sooner I got to sleep the less crying, which means hopefully no headache or a very minor one.