Touch

Ok, so I am not a real touchy feely person. I don't go around touching people all the time, and I don't even hug or kiss people much. But when I move to a new place that is what one of the hard things. When I have a bad day and really need a hug, I can't just randomly go up to some co-worker and hug them. Especially not in today's society. I would probably be looked at as trying to hit on them. Even though I am 30 years old and still boy crazy and talk about how much I love James Bond and wish I could marry a man like him, they would probably be suspicious of a hug. Plus, it would be awkward to just randomly go up to them and be like, I need a hug. I struggled with this in college (before I got to know people and made friends), Jackson Hole, and Idaho, and now Malaysia. In all of these places I also don't have my cats that I can snuggle with or pet to get some touch. I would even take a pat on the back. I don't hug my parents much or my brother, but back home it was nice because if I had a bad day I could just go to my parent's work or house and just give them a hug. I always felt better. If they weren't available I could put a cat on my lap and pet her, and the purring made me feel better.  I have slept with cats most of my life. Whenever I don't have a cat to sleep with then I sleep with a teddy bear so I have something to cuddle with at night. When I sleep I feel that presence but I don't register that it is not my cat, so I sleep well. It is also the release of the good endorphins that I am not getting when I don't get hugs, or pats, or get to pet an animal occasionally. There is the cat at school but it is semi wild and they don't take cats to the vet like we do, so who knows if it has like fleas or some disease or something. I try not to pet it that much. If I do I wash my hands right away. This another thing that one doesn't notice until it is not available to them.

Massages do help though. They release all the toxins in the body and relieve stress. I think it is a combination of working on the knots and touch. So, I always feel better after a massage, but it still isn't quite the same.