Tuesday, August 9, 2011


I know many of the sayings on patience, that it is a virtue and good things come to those that wait. I am considered by others (and I agree) that I am a mellow and patient person. I grew up having to wait for my mom to get ready, she always took like two hours, if we were going some place together or on vacation. I learned whatever time my parents said that we were leaving for vacation it was going to be two hours from that time. Both my parents are self-employed so I grew up having to wait for rides before I could drive if they were busy or if a client took a long time. As a teacher I wait for my students to complete a step before I go on to the next one or complete the assignment before going on to the next one. Waiting is not anything new to me. Here waiting is more challenging though. I lack independence that I had back home and wait much more.

I have to wait for rides. I appreciate the fact that people give me rides so I always like to be ready when they show up so that they are not waiting for me and think that it is a hassle to give me a ride. Some of the people who give me rides are great and show up within a few minutes of the time that they say and others I have to wait for sometimes up to an hour before they come.
I have to wait for Saturdays because that is when some people graciously allow me to come to their house to do laundry. After having access to laundry facilities any day my whole life that has been hard. I can't throw in a load whenever I have a minute or desperately need something. Just this week I got something on an item that will stain it. I tried washing that section in the sink but it didn't work well, so I will just have to wait until I can get a chance to wash it. I put stain remover on it too, so I will just have to wait and see. I am not supposed to wash clothes in my bathroom sink and I don't because I like to obey the rules and the sink is really small. If I or they have something that comes on a Saturday that makes it so it doesn't work out then I have to wait until the next available Saturday to do laundry. Now that I have more clothes and weather appropriate clothes that is not as hard as it was when I first moved here as long as I am aware that I won't have the ability to laundry and can plan accordingly. If it turns out to be a last minute thing that is tougher.
On laundry days I have to wait for my loads to finish so I can pop in the next load to get it all done that day. I also have to wait for my laundry to dry since it is too hot here for dryers. If it is hot and sunny the drying time is not long, if it is rainy and humid than it can take a few days for the clothes to dry. 
I have to wait to eat. The place where I live does not allow me to cook but I am allowed a microwave for heating things and a fridge for keeping things like sandwich and salad makings. Even though I don't speak Chinese or Malay I am considered nosey if I go down to eat while the people that live here are eating or they have company. During the school year the only day it was a big deal was Sundays or one day holidays from school. This summer though I have to deal with it everyday. The very old lady who lives here eats many times a day. I now know her schedule and plan my own eating accordingly. However, sometimes there are problems. She always eats at noonish for lunch. Last Saturday I was waiting to eat before I left to do laundry since my ride was later and I was to eat at the place I am staying. She had extra company so I missed breakfast and then she ate lunch around noon and then when I went down at 1:30p.m. there was new company eating lunch. So, I ended up just grabbing a snack on my way out the door. There was another day earlier this week where I had to wait a couple hours before I could go eat because there were people coming and going. Why don't I eat in my room? Well, first I am not allowed and they do come in my room to check things out. Two, ants here are really bad and I don't want to attract ants to my room and have a problem. Three, why don't I leave and eat out? That can be a pain in the butt to get showered and dressed and call a cab to go somewhere. Plus, expensive. There are not many places in walking distance. There is one really nice restaurant across the street but that would eat away my paycheck if I did it all the time.
Waiting on others or for others. Here since I don't have many friends having the friends I do have cancel is felt more. I have a married couple that does lots of last minute planning. When I do things with them I always have to wait hours to do whatever they say we are going to do since things always come up. Sometimes I wait hours and then they cancel. They aren't the only ones. Lots of times I make plans with people and then something comes up with their work or family and they cancel. This week I was supposed to go to KL with a friend and her school changed her appointment from the end of the month to this week so she had to cancel. Another time with that friend I was waiting to hear about the movies and her children got sick. A while ago I was also invited to a Hen's Night and we have been waiting to hear about the accommodations because there has been lots of problems. I am not upset with any of these people because it is always beyond their control. I had things like that happen back home but the thing is I knew lots of people so I could find something else to do with someone else or I had a backup plan or found things to do around the house. Here when I wait weeks in anticipation of an event or activity it is more of a disappointment because I know that means I will be instead spending the time in my room reading.
Waiting because of the time difference. When I send an e-mail or Facebook message to friends and family I have to wait to hear back from them. If it is urgent I still have to wait because I don't want to wake them up in the middle of the night. Even when I call I have to wait usually for the weekend because of the time difference to call. I have to wait until late at night so it is morning there or get up early in the morning so it is evening there.
This summer  for my online class I had a group project  I had to wait on others in my group to get their work done. I had to wait to hear back from them because of the time difference. I waited online to discuss our project but it was hard because of the time difference to coordinate us being on there together. Then I had to wait for my designated group member to submit our project.
When it rains the thunder and lightning are much more severe than back home so I have to wait until they quit to use the Internet. Sometimes since I have broadband I have to wait for it to connect because some days it has issues. I also have to wait for things to downloaded  or load when I need something like a document.
There is one grocery store that is more Western and that I shop at most of the time, not because it is Western but because it is right across the street and I can walk. They don't have the same items all the time. Like they will have marshmallows and then it will be like 6 months before they have them again, so sometimes if I want an item I have to wait a long time for it.
Since I am not super skinny and tiny it is hard to find clothes here that fit me. So, I have to wait until I go to Kuala Lumpur to shop or I have to wait until this one store brings in random clothes from the US to see if they fit me. Other things that I can't find here I have to wait for my parents to ship me. Mail takes a long time to get here so that is another wait and that doesn't count it getting stuck in customs because the box got ripped.
I have to wait to cross the street because they don't have cross walks here or lights for pedestrians. Sometimes I get lucky and time it just right and only wait 30 seconds. Other times I have to stand there for half an hour to cross. Also, sometimes when walking I have to wait for cars to move from the side of the road or for them to drive to get around a huge puddle during monsoon season since they will drive on the side of the road where I am walking because they don't have sidewalks here and I don't want to get run over. 
I know that I am not meant to live in a huge city. I really don't like waiting in traffic for long periods of time. I went to Kuala Lumpur a few weeks back and every day I spent at least an hour but usually longer in a cab. There was a restaurant that I had heard about that I really wanted to try but I didn't feel like spending over an hour both ways just to eat there. I was glad to return to the town I am living in since it is definitely not much waiting compared to KL. I think if I had to live in KL I would probably never go anywhere because I would hate the traffic so much. People would sit in the intersections and not let traffic going the other way go across because they didn't want to miss going. It was really not smart and very annoying. 

Usually when a person is faced with a challenge or a challenging situation they are told that there is something that they are lacking that they need to work on like patience and that is why they have this challenging situation in front of them. I have always been known as a patient and mellow person. I feel that way and others feel that way. I haven't felt that I was becoming an impatient person so I don't know why I am having to continue to work on patience with all the waiting I have to do here.

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