Another Rhyme of Mel

I know I haven't been doing very good at blogging this year. I was working on a project last night and wrote this poem. The first part is actually very similar and in some parts the same as I poem I wrote at least a year ago, but the rest is different. 

There once was a girl named Mel
She liked exploring quite well
One day she decided to stay longer overseas
so she moved to Southeast Asia with ease

The culture was very different from her own
and it was hard to be all alone
She met lots of great people
who she found to be her equal

She learned lots of new things
and to her old way of thinking she no longer clings
She took the opportunity to travel to new places
and all the new is what she embraces

She is glad that she was given this chance
to experience more of the world than just a quick glance
She plans to never go back to her old ways
no matter what happens during the rest of her days

She hopes to continue to explore

As to only stay at home is a bore

Her heart now resides in two places

Because she misses her dear friends’ faces

She has been called an old soul

Who happens to like rock and roll

Letters and old movies tie her to a bygone era

She is even named after a character close to O’Hara

She is strong and independent

But not extremely resplendent

Mature, yet hopelessly silly

But better to be that than chilly

Laughing hard brings tears and hiccups

To a girl who owns no pickups

Smiling is something fun to do

It happens a lot instead of feeling blue

To write about one’s self can be a chore

And can be a struggle not to cause the reader to snore

I hope if nothing else this makes you laugh

If not, I wouldn’t hire me to be on your writing staff

If you do like this poem hardcore

I may be willing to do an encore

Although it is not easy

To always be this cheesy  

Chopsticks and My Favorite Part of the Day

Chopsticks

California roll (front) 

Last Sunday April 21st I went with a friend to Sushi Hana my first time really having sushi. I tried a California roll once but I don't know that it was really sushi, a friend made it.  So, this time I had real sushi. I know that some people are surprised that I have lived here for almost three years and haven't had sushi. There was one place in the town I lived in Malaysia that had sushi. It was owned by the parents of one of our students. For a period of time we tried it at school (as we didn't have a cafeteria we had food brought in). I was worried about getting food poisoning though as I didn't know how long the food would be sitting out  before it reached school. Also, at some time in the past I read and article about people getting food poisoning and other I think, maybe salmonella or something from sushi and read that it was bad to eat raw fish. Plus, I grew up way inland in the US and so fresh fish was rare and frozen fish was expensive. I did grow up fishing in Minnesota when I visited my grandparents but we only caught little sunfish, and I don't remember that I ever really liked the taste.

Chicken Teriyaki

 I am very picky about how fish tastes. If it is what I consider fishy I won't eat it. There was one restaurant in the town I lived in Malaysia that had really fresh fish and it was great. Other restaurants I tried in Malaysia still had that fishy flavor. Anyway back to Sushi Hana.

pan fried dumplings

We went there and I got the California roll, Chicken Teriyaki roll and also pan fried dumplings. I also tried one of my friend's smoked salmon rolls and pickled ginger. I liked everything that I tried. My friend also showed me how to use chopsticks. I have tried using chopsticks many times before but never got it. Well, I don't know if how she does it is slightly different or not, but I was finally able to use chopsticks. I know it is a little thing but I was really happy that I finally was able to use chopsticks. I need to buy some and continue to use them when I eat at home so that I don't lose the ability to use them. 

My Favorite Part of the Day in Indonesia

My favorite part of the day in Indonesia is in the morning on the way to work. Where I live in Indonesia there are security guards at the entrance of every neighborhood. They are also at the entrance of many businesses. I have to go through three sets of security guards stations on the way to work. The first is as I am exiting my neighborhood. The second is actually a road block that they make most people go around. Since the sign is in Indonesian I don’t know why the road is blocked. It is blocked from 10p.m. to 8a.m. The last is the entrance to work. The reason I love this part of my day is because it starts the day off with a smile.  Whenever I see the guards I always smile really big and wave enthusiastically. They all respond in kind. Sometimes when they see my vehicle they will all gather and then I will have around 10 Indonesian men smiling and waving enthusiastically to me. I always roll down my window and call out “Selamat Pagi” . Another thing I like is that they are not reserved in telling me I am beautiful.  I don’t hear it all the time but I do hear it at least once a week. Not that I never heard in back in the US but I hear it way more here. It is also nice because I consider Asian people very beautiful and it is nice to hear that to some of them I am also beautiful in my own way.
I think it also makes me feel good because when I lived in Malaysia I was not able to exercise as I didn't have access to a gym and it was super hot and humid outside. Plus, I didn't really like the people that followed me in their vehicles when I was walking around the neighborhood.


 So, I didn't have much to do and put on weight. Since I have lived in Indonesia I have access to a club with a gym that is super close to my house. The club also has a pool and I love, love to swim. I have been swimming almost every day. That is my favorite thing about Indonesia is that I can swim outside 365 days a year if I want to do that. So, I have lost lots of weight and am in better shape than I was in Malaysia. In the US even though for the last several years news, media, people have been talking about that we need to not all be skinny people and that different sizes are beautiful, etc. there is still lots pressure to be skinny and look a certain way. There maybe that pressure in other countries, but as an outsider I don't feel that pressure. Sure, it is hard for me to find clothes that fit or are long enough, but it doesn't bother me like it did when I first moved overseas. I have also gotten more use to people staring at me when I am out and about. I hate being the center of attention and like to blend in the background, but I realize I stick out and it is part of living in Asia. I think I am more comfortable since people have told me that I am beautiful that they are not staring at me because I am ugly, but they think I am beautiful in my own way.

Weakness is a Strength or Not?

I read this blog post about weakness as a strength and it has been tumbling around in my head ever since. I thought it was an interesting perspective and at first I thought I disagreed.  I really enjoy reading Adrienne's thoughts and they are inspiring. There have been several that have made me dig down deep and really look at things I have not looked at for awhile. To pick up things that have gotten dusty and brushed them off to see what is underneath all the dust.

I have been composing a response the last few days and just now I went to re-read the post to make sure I address all the different things I disagree with and now I have picked up on some things I didn’t notice the first time. So, maybe it is not that I disagree but instead that a person needs to have people to be ok with them showing vulnerability. I know from experience and observations of others that the same behavior or traits is not acceptable in everyone. It could be a positive trait or negative. One person might get away with being lazy because they are very charming. While another person might be just as lazy but not charming so they don’t get away with it. (There are many examples but that is the first one that came to my head.) So, in order to show vulnerability a person needs people that support in that way, not saying that people can’t be supportive in other ways, but in order to feel comfortable showing vulnerability a person has to have the other person think it is ok. I realize now that that is what I haven’t had. I have grown up with people always expecting me to be the strong one and to not complain or be vulnerable. So, since people expect that of me if I show the smallest bit of vulnerability they don’t react positively. I have shown it in trust, but many people have abused my trust over the years (taking that vulnerability and using it against me to get something they want) and it has actually widened the gap rather than bringing us together.  I am a person that will trust easily when I first meet people, but if you hurt my trust it will take a long time to ever get it back. But for this post if I don’t even dwell on when I was growing up but just in the last 3 years I see that I am still expected to be strong.

Last fall I reached out to a few people about some problems, letting just a tad of vulnerability show and the response I got from all of them was that I needed to be stronger. I know that I have always been friends with people older than myself and most of the time people think I am older than I am, so I think sometimes people forget that I am not as old as they are. The people I turned to are older than me and have lived overseas much longer than me and have way more experiences than I have. So, I don’t know if they have forgotten being fairly new to overseas and what they really felt like experiencing problems or they really think I am just a wimp for thinking that the problems I have experienced are bigger than stubbing my toe. After showing just that tad bit and getting that response I haven’t shown any more because I know now with those people it is not welcome.

Even with the death of my grandpa earlier this month I stayed strong and didn’t show how much of an effect it had on me. I went to work every day and if it hadn’t been for one person who I finally told because she was perceptive enough to pick up on my wearing all black and looking not so upbeat, no one would have ever known. I was still given that it happens to everyone and it is just part of living overseas. So, I stayed strong at school and waited until I got to my house where no one could see me before I gave into my tears and sadness.

I rarely show vulnerability to people back home. They think that I am brave to be living overseas and many of them admire that I had the guts to do it. I rarely post about problems I have experiences living overseas or I joke about it like it is no big deal because I am trying to show strength to those people back home. I don’t want them to think it is hard and I can’t handle it. I don’t want people to feel sorry for me. (There is more of a back-story there for another time.) I have friends who a missionaries in Africa and they tell people back home about the good and bad, but for them it is ok. People are ok with it and send them words of encouragement. I wonder sometimes if they weren’t missionaries would they still get words of encouragement when they deal with a difficulty living overseas.

I took a risk awhile back and showed some vulnerability on my blog after I was inspired by the Where am I from poem. I have had lots and lots of people read that poem, but not a single person has left a comment. It has made me a little nervous. There has been no encouragement and I don’t know what people think. I don’t know if they see it as positive thing or negative thing. Part of me wishes that I had never been caught up in the moment of writing a poem for the first time in years and the encouragement to post it on my blog. Sometimes I worry that it will have a negative impact on me, but it is there for all to see. Even if I took it down now, so many people have already seen it.

For the last few months I have been trying to make a big life decision. It has been hard. I have thought that people back home might think that I am not strong if I choose path A over path B. I have also thought about the people that I look up to overseas that they will think I am not strong enough if I choose path A. But then I realized that to the people I look up to overseas I am just a small blip on their screen and they are not my support system. They do support me in some ways and are a great PLN, but they don't provide it in some areas where I need support. We are in different places in our lives and have different ideas about things, so I shouldn’t make a decision based on how I am worried that they will view me as weak. As for the people back home, well I have done what most of them have only dreamed about and when I am an old lady looking back at my life I will have no regrets. I have done all the things that I set out to do. Now I can just enjoy the rest of life’s ride. So, it shouldn’t matter then what they think of my decision. I also have a better support system back home. There are those people that I can be vulnerable with: my parents, brother, and best friend who always have my back whether I am strong or weak.

So, my take away is that for some people it is ok to show vulnerability and for others it is not unless they have someone who is ok with that and gives them the support to be vulnerable.

Melanie

I got this idea from Ms. Paula  http://negotiatingmeaning.blogspot.com/2013/01/a-short-message-and-poem-welcome-2013.html?spref=tw    My Where I am From Poem.

I am from Rapid City

My paternal grandma didn’t want me named Sara Elizabeth

Instead I am Melanie from Gone with the Wind

Mom went back to work part time

when I was 6 months

an elderly couple took care of me

My Dad started commuting to Gillette

Not knowing the strange man (Dad)

who took my Mom’s attention from me on weekends

My Mom decided she didn’t want me to not know my Dad

So we joined him in Gillette

I am from Harder Drive

Attending Paintbrush with two best friends

The 80’s were the best

Even with a broken leg trying to be a trapeze artist

stitches in the back of my head as a spectator at a rock fight

and a brother 6 years younger than me

I am from Clarion Drive

Later known to me by others as snob knob

on the golf course

I picked the Victorian house

with a huge attic and enough room for a cat,

the most awesome Pepper, who lived to be 20.

I am from Stocktrail as my second elementary school

the girl that was picked on every day

The girl who they ran away from in the daily game of “run away”

who admitted I liked a boy and then was made fun in front of the whole lunchroom

who didn’t learn and admitted I liked other boys and was teased

with the suddenly “stick my finger in a light socket” curly hair, no longer skinny,

glasses, nice jewelry, a big house

The girl who was shy

Who was always so nice that people used me

Whose Mom didn’t understand why I would cry

From deciding I would not cry in front of others to

I will not cry

I am from writing letters and pen pals

wanting to tell my story to others

to have friends and loved ones far away

who did not judge me or treat me mean

but in college as I grappled with my identity

letters from a friend hurt me

and we never were the same

I have hung on to those letters for some reason

I still put ink to paper and get super excited

when a letter comes in the mail

I am from books, music (everything but country)

and mostly old movies

the escape from life

the journeys I take in my mind

where no one is mean

the imagination I have built up is so vivid

if I would just write them all down

I think I could be a Stephen King or Dean Koontz

I am from ballet

15 years I was in dance

of costumes and make up once a year for the recital

achieving pointe the week of my 16^th birthday

knowing I will never be a prima ballerina

not skinny or talented enough

struggling to look at myself in the mirror to make sure my body was correct

because it meant looking at me

sometimes being made fun of

but during the dance another place of escape

finally stopping when I was an adult and there were no classes for my age and level

so in a class with teenage girls who didn’t really care and wasted my time and money

drove me nuts, for the first time I wasn’t in a recital

and when the year ended I was done

I still dance for fun around the house

but nothing structured anymore

I am from Sage Valley Junior High and Campbell County High School

where I was still picked on and used

boys still acting like they liked me and then teasing me in front of large groups

Still made fun of for my hair, glasses, average weight, clothes,

and because I didn’t smoke or drink

Still helping people all the time no matter how mean they were to me

from hours spent in the darkroom playing with the images I captured

building up a wall that no one could scale

I am from piano, choir, band and color guard

always hoping I would be a very talented musician

wanting to compose some piece that would speak to people

but always just average

I am BHSU

where I was so unhappy and forgotten most of the time

from wanting it to be the end

but somehow to keep going

I thought at the time that I was protected by an angel

from crushes that just saw me as one of the guys

and asked me to help them with the girls they liked

to the one that wanted to marry me for a green card

and the un-welcomed pressure to be like the rest

to finding my best friend

but sometimes feeling she doesn’t need me very much

I am from heart surgery

surprise since I had perfect attendance 1st-10th & 12th grade

always super healthy

fear by everyone else

death? pacemaker? fixed no problems?

Me, calm thinking if it was time to go it was time to go

the end result was the best scenario

I am from graduating in 2002

no jobs to be had

people weren’t retiring

they wanted people with experience

from substituting wondering if I was meant to be a teacher

it was my dream from the age of 5

to thinking that no one will ever take my dreams away from me

I am from the ink on my back

it tells a unfinished story

someday I am sure I will add more

only special people can see it

people are always shocked when they find out

it doesn’t fit their stereotype for me

I am from going back to BHSU

to being in a poetry class where my poems were ripped apart

and my heart stomped on

to living off campus and two boys competing for me

and the pressure to be like the rest

I am from graduating in 2005

from driving all over the western US

going to job fairs and interviews

living with my parents while I looked for a teaching job

so grateful that they are so wonderful to me

I am from Burley

my first teaching job

the best job but so lonely

not really a community with people my age

two major religious groups and I wasn’t either

so far away from my family

or it seemed so far away at the time

I am from my paternal grandma dying my first year of teaching

telling her it was ok

I was a teacher

I wasn’t getting married anytime soon

she didn’t need to keep hanging on

I am from Gillette

Moved back

from my Dad building my custom built home

a good job

people picking on me because I wouldn’t play the game

back to the same mentality by others that I didn’t fit in

from feeling the pressure to get married and have children

I am from Kuantan

achieving my dream of living and teaching overseas

getting to experience a whole other culture and different religions

learning so many things and meeting so many great people

living in a little room

very limited

very lonely

from traveling to other countries

achieving the lifelong dream of my Dad and I going to Australia

I am from Surabaya

part of me has really grown

and it questions what I believe in

lots of different ideas and thoughts out there

part of me is still the same

wanting to be part of the popular group

even on twitter

always thinking that I will never catch up

they are always older and wiser than me

being so nice and helpful that people use me

telling myself that I am strong and don’t need anyone

still wanting to find a great group of friends

thankful for my parents and maternal grandparents

missing my best friend

my brother and I are not close

I am envious of him and how awesome he is

my home has sold so I can never go back

still looking for my place in the world

striving to achieve my dreams

looking for my special someone

hoping he is out there

I am from today

wondering what the future will hold

what my next step is

wondering if I will be alone for the rest of my life

will I ever find a group of friends

ever not be picked on

not used

from the confidence that I am loved by my family

that I am a nice person

but the insecurity of my looks

wearing nice clothes and hardly ever looking in the mirror

that I will never be skinny enough or pretty enough for people

that the guys will always pick the skinny, petite, beautiful girls

from the scars on my body from Teton Science camp, heart surgery

and other various activities where I didn’t cry or complain

they remind me I am brave and strong

thinking more about the end of my parent’s lives

sad that as I live this unintended gypsy life

I leave pieces of my heart all over this world

I am from this moment

Writing a poem for the first time in years

thinking: is it good?

can I share it?

will people like it?

will they hurt my heart?

by: Melanie February 3, 2013

* This poem does not mean that I don't have any friends. I just don't have a large group friends that I am super close with. Not all people are the same and some have one or two close friends rather than a large group of close friends. Nor does it mean that I don't get along well with others.  We are all different people.  This poem is only a small part of me and not encompassing of every aspect of me and the whole story is not told for the purpose of this poem (I focused more on the challenges). Poems can also be the hardest to interpret. The poet can write meaning one thing and different people will interpret them in a variety of ways, so I am aware this poem could be interpreted in ways I haven't thought about. I am a pretty happy person and don't regret any of my life. It has been years since I have written any poems and this was a good challenge for me. I welcome any comments.

Letters (more thoughts from the Pen Pal post)

Yesterday I got a handwritten letter from back home from a a friend and it was so exciting. Even though I have been playing around with how to combine the old and new, handwriting and technology when it comes to letters. I have to say getting a letter in the mail will always be my favorite way to communicate. I follow The Clever Sheep's blog and when I was going through my reading list I came across this blog post "The Power of Handwriting" 

This echoed some of the thoughts I have had but maybe didn't fully express in my blog post about pen pals. I remember in college having to write letters to myself for various lessons and classes. Some of those letters were really hard to go back and read.  I was always able to see how much I had grown and some of them surprised me as to my thought process at the time of the letter. When I taught in the US, both in Idaho and Wyoming, we had older students write letters to younger students giving them advice. It was always an enjoyable activity and meant a lot to the younger  and older students both.

This also got me thinking it would be nice when a teacher is doing his/her student teaching or when he/she gets her first job if a mentor teacher wrote the student/new teacher a letter to encourage him or her about the profession that was chosen. It could actually be implemented in several professions.

In both International schools that I have taught and am teaching at I have had students write letters but they don't ever given them to the person, so I don't feel it is always taken seriously.  I did write in my Pen Pals post about how in Malaysia I tried to have my students becoming pen pals with students from the US, but due to miscommunication it didn't work out. For one of my summative assessments at my current school for my year 8 students I had them write a letter to Petra Anderson, the person a news article had been written about as a victim of the "Dark Knight Rises" shooting. We had read the article previously and had used it also for a previous summative assessment, so I thought it would be a nice tie in to then write a letter to her. I noticed that several of my students struggled with writing a letter even though we had practiced prior to that in class. Since I had not lived in Indonesia for very long when we wrote the letters I didn't know how to mail letters, for one, and second, I didn't know if there was a way to actually mail the letters to this Petra if we worked on improving them so they were better. Time got away from me and I didn't remember until just now that I had thought about doing that. Some of those letters were really encourage though, and I wish now that I had looked into it. Since we change students at semester I no longer have those students to go back and do it this semester.

I think there are ways even with all the technology today to take the time to hand write a letter and mail it to someone, it might brighten their day. Instead of always texting, picking up the phone and letting the person hear one's voice, and laugh. One may never know how much that means to that person and how much they love their friend or loved ones' laugh. Instead of always using Facebook messenger, having a friend over for a cup of tea and visiting. I think letters, e-mails, twitter, Facebook, cell phones, visiting/having someone over, sms, etc. all have their functions and places, we shouldn't exclude any of them but should use all of them to better connect us and enrich our lives by those connections to others.

6 months in Indonesia

Pool at  Ciputra club

I have now lived in Indonesia for 6 months. I decided since this is my second country overseas instead of blogging about all the little differences I have noticed I would just summarize and put into one post.  I have also made some comparisons between Malaysia and Indonesia.

School-  In Malaysia I taught at a school, using American curriculum, of 70 students (the 2nd year I was there-55 the first) from grades 7-12 with students from 20 different countries. The whole school was only 5 rooms and the second year I was there they brought in a portable building. Although, they are working on building a bigger school with the rapid increase of students. We increased to 9 teachers by the middle of my second year. Plus, the Director of Studies who also taught part time, two secretaries, the owner, a housekeeper and a bus driver. In Indonesia the school is an IB World School using the International Baccalaureate curriculum with PYP, MYP, and DP. They also have the Indonesian program. The school has three buildings and goes from toddler all the way up to year 12 and has 1,100 students total. Most of the students are from Indonesia with a handful of International students. There are about 70 staff members in just the high school alone.

Angkor Wat

Housing accommodations- In Malaysia I was just in a boarding house that was pretty restrictive. No cooking, or people over. I got permission my second year there to do laundry on Saturday.  The first year I had to take my laundry to friend's houses or a dobi (where they do the laundry). There were more rules, but that will give the reader a base for my comparison. In Indonesia I have a house. It is 3 bedrooms and three bathrooms. It is close to the size of my home that I had been living in before I moved overseas. I have a small front and back yard. There is also a washing machine that I can use any time I need to use it. I have a nice, little kitchen that I can with both stove and oven. I also bout a microwave, so I can pretty much cook or bake anything that I can find ingredients for (more on that later). I have a kitchen table and living room so I can have people over, I haven't yet as I have been busy getting settled.

Floating village in Cambodia

Transportation- In Malaysia I used an occasional taxi as they didn't have as many and were harder to get them to pick me up. I had people give me rides most of the time. I also had a lady I hired the second year to drive me to work and back and the occasional errand if I scheduled ahead of time. In Indonesia I have my own vehicle. I can drive myself to and from work, to the Super Mall (which is the end of my comfort zone) and other places around where I live. It is also super easy to get a taxi so when I need to go somewhere on the other side of town it is easy to get a taxi there and back.

In Seoul

Social- This is a larger school that I am working in so there are more employees. In Malaysia my school had two expats. The other expat had lived in Malaysia for 20 some years and was married to a local lady with a family. I did hang out quite a bit with the local teachers. They are all wonderful people and created some amazing experiences and memories for me by all that they invite me to do to learn about Malaysia. There were some other expat families in the town I lived in but most of the women did not work, so many of the activities were done during the day. In Indonesia there are about 15 other expats that work at my school. Plus, just across the field is another International school and not too far down the road is a third International school. I am also still trying to get to know the locals and do things with them. This is a much bigger city so there are more places to eat, movie theaters, malls, shops, etc.

In Seoul

Technology- In Malaysia I had a USB modem that I just plugged into my computer and could use anywhere around town. I was able to pay my monthly bill online with my bank account. In Indonesia I tried a portable wifi but the connection never seemed very good. Plus, it just used a cell phone sim card and I constantly had to run to the nearest mall to top it up. I recently got Internet through the telephone line and wifi. It does seem to work much better.

In Malaysia I didn't have cable television. In Indonesia I have satellite tv.
In Malaysia I had one sim card. I could put three different RM amounts on my phone using the Internet and my bank account and I could use talk for several hours to my parents back home before I had to top up on the Internet. In Indonesia I have a sim card and I have to go to the closest super market or mall and have them top it up or get them to give me a scratch card to put money on my sim card. I have learned to always carry a spare one. I have tried calling back home and will go through a whole Rp100.00 card in 10 minutes. So now I try to use Skype.

Seoul Tower

Help- In Malaysia since I just had a room and bathroom I did all the cleaning myself and once a month the servants would come in for an inspection and clean to make sure everything was up to snuff. In Indonesia, I recently got a pembantu or helper. It was a big adjustment for me. I resisted it for the first six months as it was not something I wanted to do. But as time has gone on I can see how having one can be helpful especially with the language barrier. The lady that I got speaks pretty good English. She is more knowledgeable than I am about where to get things done or how to do things. I think it will make things easier for me and take less time to do certain things. I also learned today how grateful she is to have a job and be making money. So, I am glad I revised my thinking. I still try to make things easy and not create a huge mess for her to clean up or anything like that.

Karanggongso beach

Weather- In Malaysia it was hot and humid all the time. During monsoon season it would rain for days at a time, all day long. In Indonesia it is hotter than Malaysia all the time. Probably because this city is not on the coast. It is not as humid all the time, but during rainy season it is just as humid. It does not rain as much. I might rain for 20 minutes to a couple hours and be done until the next day or the day after. This breeds more mosquitoes instead of getting rid of them.  I definitely get way more bites here. I am trying everything anyone is recommending to keep from getting bit but so far nothing has stopped them. I am worried that at some point I will get dengue, but in the meantime I am still trying to get them to quit biting me.

campsite at Karanggongso beach

Other- For the second time in my life I went camping. The last time I was two years old and it was in the mountains. This time I was on the beach at Karanggongso with students and other teachers for a total of around 70 people. It was an adventure.

I traveled to both Cambodia and South Korea on my two breaks earlier in August and October, respectively.

I went on a tour of East Java that included a botanical garden, tea plantation, Kaliandra and a temple. It was a great way to see some of the other amazing sites outside of the city. I am looking forward to another one this spring. 

I went to my first Sweet 17 birthday party and was amazed. It felt almost like I was on the MTV's show " My Super Sweet 16" only it was in Indonesian.

On East Java Tour

Every break from August 2011- October 2012 I traveled. I loved to travel and I want to make the most of living close to all these countries that I have always wanted to visit. For my Christmas break December 20, 2012- January 14, 2013 but nothing worked out. So for the first time in my life I spent Christmas and New Year's alone without my family. It was tough and I chose not to celebrate them, so I hope that I am not in that position again, but I survived. I didn't do much but relax, sleep, watch movies, read, and run errands. Sometimes it was boring but I had lots of things to think about and it gave me the time to do that.

At Kaliandra

Less people speak English here and more things things are written in Indonesian. It is more challenging in Indonesia to buy things, order at restaurants, etc. Most people in Malaysia spoke English and most things were in English, so it was much easier to buy things, get around and get things done.

At Kaliandra

Both Indonesians and Malaysian are a really wonderful group of people. I am truly glad that I have had the opportunity to live overseas for however long it lasts. I think it has made me a better person. I feel like I was open minded before I moved overseas, but I feel that I am even more open minded now. Media does not always portray the positive aspects of people and places, so I am glad I have seen and experienced many wonderful things and met many wonderful people in both countries.

East Java Tour

Purwodadi Botanical Garden

A man who has lived in Surabaya for around 24 years does tours of different parts of East Java on weekends. They are just day trips. I signed up for the Discover East Java Tour that took place on Sunday, November 25, 2012. We assembled at the meeting place and got on a small bus. There were a few people from my school that went on the tour and several from two other International schools that are close by. There was a little over 20 of us. A few people were sick and so they were unable to make it, but it was a nice number of people.

Purwodadi Botanical Garden

Our first destination was Purwodadi Botanical Gardens located in Pasuruan. We took an hour tour. We started off in a large cluster but they broke off into smaller groups. It was a nice place. There were not as many flowers as I thought there would be. I know botanical gardens aren't just flowers, but since we are in a tropical climate I thought there would be more of them.  I think the gardens are probably much larger than I realize, but with only an hour we did a quick walk through some of the areas. I don't remember seeing anything remarkable, but it was nice. There was supposed to be a huge suspension bridge, but we did not find it before we ran out of time. Maybe if the small group I was with had chosen a different route.

Haunted Hotel

 On our way to our next stop we passed this hotel. We were told that it is haunted because it used to be this guy's house and he didn't want his daughters to marry so they committed suicide by jumping off the roof to their death.

Wonosai Tea Plantation

Our next stop was the Wonosari Tea Planation. It is situation on the slopes of Mount Arjuna in Malang. I thoroughly enjoyed this place. I have heard of tea planations and there is one in Malaysia that some of the students, of my former school,  did an overnight field trip too, but the timing wasn't right, so I decided to stay back with the students at school. I really didn't know how tea was made. I knew there are tea bags and tea leaves, but I didn't even know what a tea plant looked like. They employ mostly women at the plant to do the picking of the tea leaves. It is a huge plantation. They also have houses for some of the more senior level workers. Plus, bungalows that people rent on the weekend and stay there. They even have ponies that give children rides. I am not sure if I would stay there only because I don't know what else there is to do in the area, but maybe if I had more knowledge I would. I could also see it was a nice weekend getaway for locals. It was very educational and we had a nice lady, that spoke fluent English that gave us a tour. The only part that was a bummer was that since it was a Sunday we didn't actually get to see the different steps in the process of making tea.

Chart that explains process

The lady did open up the plant for us and did explain each step, but since I am a visual person it would have been nice to see the actual process. At the end of our tour we got to sample some of their tea and then buy tea. I love tea, so it was great. I learned that the older tea leaves that are lower quality are what they use for tea bags and the process that they use for them is that they make tea quickly and dark. I learned that the new leaves are the best quality and make tea that is lighter in color and takes a bit longer to seep. They also had white tea leaves, but I passed on buying any of them. They were expensive and I wasn't sure if I would like the flavor. I like my tea very strong and with no sugar, milk or anything else.

After the Tea plantation we traveled to Kaliandra Sejati Foundation. I think this was my favorite part of the trip. We pulled up to this beautiful house. It is the owner's childhood dream house. The foundation was founded by Atmadja Tjiptobiantoro. It is to help improve the welfare of the people of Kaliandra, preserve Javanese culture, and help with reforestation of Mount Arjuna. His gardens are incredible. He has several peacocks and what look like deer. Plus, a few other birds I was not sure what they were.

Looking back on the main house

 
They do organic farming and bring the vegetables to Surabaya to sell in some of the grocery stores, they even will deliver to a person's home. I was able to buy actual lettuce and have been able to eat salads again. After having a snack we toured the grounds. People can stay at Kaliandra. They have rooms in the main house where people have stayed. They have bungalows that are accomodations for groups of up to six people. I loved the layout of them. They had an outdoor bathtub and shower as well as an indoor shower.

One of many beautiful buildings

 They have cottages for up to 12-15 people. They also had dorm style cottages for up to 70 people. One of the upper elementary grades at my school stays here for their camp week. One of the other schools has some of their students stay there as well. They had a villa that had a private pool for honeymooning couples. Since this is located on a mountain we were told it can get cool at night. They also had huge mosquitoes. I could see if I were to get married while I lived in East Java I would stay there are part of my honeymoon. We walked up to their restaurant. The food was pretty good. Next to it was a roofed but open sided area that had the Gamelan musical instruments.

Looking from back of main house

Another features was a plunge pool surrounded by Hindu deities. We were also told they do massages. Before we even got to the main house we saw they have a ropes course that they use with different groups for leadership and team building.  They also have packages for activities for people staying there: hikes, cultral experiences, tours, golfing, etc. It is also looks like they do quite a bit to help the people and the community to help them be successful.

Bungalows

Our last stop was Jawi Temple. We were supposed to have another stop besides this one but we were running behind all day and so early on we knew we wouldn't make that. It was a Hindu ritual bath. I kind of had a feeling when I read the original itinerary on the first e-mail that it seemed too much to accomplish in just one day and with travel time and making sure we stayed on schedule. I figured getting to see some of them was better than staying at my house and not seeing any of them. By the time we reached the Jawi temple it was already dark out. Our tour guide knew that sometimes they have rituals or celebrations at night and that many times it is still open. Luck was not on our side that day and the gate was closed, there  was one small light by the entrance gate but it was not enough to light up the temple and the moon didn't really provide enough light either.  I did take a picture, but it is really hard to discern what is in the picture. There were also tons of flying bugs by the light that kept attacking us. So we were just a few minutes before calling it quits and heading back to Surabaya.

We were told at the end of the day that sometime in the spring of 2013 there will be another tour to different sights and places. I am looking forward to going. 

Majapahit Hotel and Spa

This is from walking back to the Spa

I have been to the spa at the Majapahit Hotel three times and once to Sarkies restaraunt. I have to say it is my favorite place in Surabaya. I would like to go there more often, but with traffic it is almost an hour's journey.  I have gone for three spa packages. I have done the Eastern Princesss, once and the Chinese Empress, twice. I thought their prices were great and the experiences, wonderful. The Eastern Princess took four hours. I started with a facial, followed by a massage, steam bath, scrub, bath in a mixture of herbs, and then a smoke treatment.  I had never had a smoke treatment before, so I didn't know what to expect. The smoke was placed under me but I was wearing some clothing, not knowing that I was supposed to, so I don't think it really achieved its purpose. I felt wonderful after it was all done.

Another view walking back to Spa

The Chinese Empress Ritual is 2 and a half hours. It consists of feet washing, a massage, and a facial. It is not elaborate as the first one, but definitely still more than meets my requirements and I feel amazing after I am done. I am not sure how many rooms they have total, but I have been in three different rooms. I have been in small room for a facial. I was in a large room with a bathtub, shower, steamer (not sure proper name), and massage bed. This last time since I was by myself there was no switching of rooms. I was in a medium room with a tub, massage table, shower, and steamer. The two larger rooms are very nicely decorated and feel very calming.

Indigo restaurant

I have eaten at both Sarkies and Indigo. I went to Sarkies on a non-spa trip. There was a small group of us and we had dim sum. I really enjoyed the dim sum. After my latest Chinese Empress spa I decided that I wanted to eat at the hotel. I wasn't sure about trying to do dim sum for one person though, so I walked around on the main floor and discovered Indigo. Indigo has more Western food. What drew me in was their Chef salad, but then I ended up eating their club sandwich. I wanted both, but the waitress said the salad was large and I asked which one she recommended and she recommended the sandwich. The sandwich was good. They also had lamb on the menu, so I am hoping next time I go I will do a afternoon appointment and then eat dinner there. One thing I have noticed is that the hotel, spa and restaurants are never busy. The first three times I was there it was on a Saturday. This last time it was a Wednesday. My work has the week off, but I know that most people are probably back to work. I don't mind the quietness at all, it is just an observation.

The Pool

They do offer other things at this hotel, but these are the ones that I have personally experienced and recommend.

Introverts

I followed a link on twitter today that led me to TED Talks and the talk, "Susan Cain: The Power of Introverts". I have known for years that I am an introvert. I was also extremely shy when I was younger. Although, I have outgrown my shyness for the most part and only a small part clings to me in certain new situations I am still very much introverted. I identified with several things in this talk. My Dad and I are avid readers but my Mom and brother are not. To me growing up I could read in the solace of my own room or in a busy room filled with people doing various activities. In college, one of my roommates, who is now my best friend and I spent lots of time reading in the same room. There was a period of time where we weren't getting along for some reason (I don't recall anymore why) but I do recall feeling lonely. We were in an apartment at that stage instead of a dorm room. Even though she was in the apartment she would isolate herself in her room while I sat out in the living room hoping she would come out to read. I didn't care if we didn't talk. I just wanted the presence of her there. Eventually things worked themselves out. I have even enjoyed hanging out with that special guy reading while he played his video games. While I don't play video games I can understand being sucked into another world and so to me it is fine to do our different activities together sometimes. I know in college it was a struggle for me when I was in the dorm room because it was just one small room that I had to share with a person all the time. I enjoyed when my roommates when home. Sometimes if they were gone and I was alone in the room I wouldn't answer the door. I didn't want to accept whatever invitation they had and didn't have a good reason for saying no, other than I wanted to be alone. I also remember in college and even now sometimes when I just want to stay home and enjoy a nice, quiet evening a voice in my head ( from different people who have said this to me over and over) that networking is important and you don't meet people being at home and so I need to go out to whatever event that it is, even when I really don't want to and force myself to say hi to all these people I don't know and get to know them, blah, blah, blah. I do it and sometimes I enjoy myself but most of the time I am glad when the night is over and I am back to my solitude. I will also admit that most of the time I greatly admire extroverts and how they are just go, go, go all the time. I wish I could be more outgoing like them.

I do see that many schools are set up for more extroverts. I know even in my own classroom in order to try to meet the different learning styles there is always a conflict. If we do several group activities the introverts aren't happy because they want to work alone. Sometimes I do let them work alone , as I understand being an introvert, but sometimes I do want them to learn how to work with other people, because we do have to do that. Other times if we have several solitary activities that we are doing the extroverts complain that we don't do enough activities together. I think it is important though to learn to work by oneself as not everything in life can be a group activity. In the US I had my own classrooms and I was able to be in their during my planning period, so it helped me get through the day by having that alone time to work. In overseas schools that I have taught in I have had to share either classrooms with my desk in the classroom, so that during my planning there are other classes taking place in that room (there was no where else to go) and I have worked in a school where all the teachers of the same faculty had their desks all in the same room. So, in both cases there is really no escape during the day to have solitude and think or really get in the zone and get things done. I think it is also more draining not having any real down time during the day. It is definitely still an adjustment that I am working on finding a way to deal with and make it work for me. I have always struggled with participating as a student and now chaperoning as an adult, school trips, because there is really no down time other than some sleeping. If it is for a vacation I like to travel alone, but if I travel with others I have to make sure I carve out time just for myself or I start to get grumpy. It works best if I travel with someone similar to me, so we both take our own alone time. It can be challenge to travel with an extrovert who wants to be with me at all times.

I even feel with social networking that it really can be more for extroverted people. There are many things I create and think that I don't share. I keep those things to myself just like I did before I started Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and blogging. I create for myself and sometimes I will share but a vast amount I still keep to myself. It is a struggle because there are tons of great discussions on twitter and thought provoking tweets. There are lots of great blogs out there too. I want to share so that people will know that I am trying to contribute and not just take, take, take, but it can be very hard. Some of it may be shyness creeping back up since this is new to me and I wonder what people think when I tweet something or if I were to share one of the songs I have on Soundcloud or pictures that I have taken and edited on Instagram. I know that several of the people I follow are extroverts and they have also been doing things much longer than I have, so they are comfortable in their online skin. With online people all around the world can see my things that I post on twitter, instagram, my blogs. How much do I want people who have never met me to know? How much do I want those people that I have met to know? There are somethings that I only want the people closed to me to know. Some of it has, of course, to do with trust. How much do I trust someone whom I have never met with my poetry, if I were to put it online? On the other hand, I write my poetry for me, about very personal things, and don't want other people's opinions or validation on it.
I think living overseas being an introvert can be different than back home. In one country I was really the only expat at school and  the other expat women in the town didn't work, so it was easier to have lots of solitude. In another country there is a larger expat community at school and there are a few international schools, so there is more pressure to be social. At first that was exciting after two years of lots of solitude, but now I am worn out. I think with just small expat communities, in my experience,  it can be harder to find another introvert to just hang out reading together with. I also feel I have to be more outgoing to bridge that gap, so that I can learn about a different culture, which is part of why I moved overseas. If I stuck mostly to myself I wouldn't learn much about the country I am living in and the people or their culture.
So, it is nice to know that I am not the only one who enjoys reading in the same room as someone else who is reading. Or who pushed herself to go out to socialize and network when I would really rather be at home experiment with a new recipe. Or that many work environments are set up more for the extrovert. I don't know if others find that social networking seems more geared for the extrovert, but there might be someone out there that does. The main thing for me is reflecting. This talk made me reflect, which is something I do quite often; however, in this case, I am going to share my reflections because there may be other introverts out there that feel this way and will be glad to know that they aren't the only one.

The End of my time in Malaysia

My last week of my time was very packed and was a mix of emotions. Monday the 18th of June was last day of practice at the school for graduation the next evening. On Tuesday we had graduation practice at the hotel. The MC forgot her script at school and when we first arrived the hotel hadn't turned on the a/c or had any people there to set up the microphones or anything. So we just had to hang out for awhile. We ran through the songs and graduation a few times and then the owner came to watch. One he was satisfied we were able to leave and go back to the school. Afternoon was filled with more practicing of the music. That evening after I had gotten ready my friends came to pick me up as we had to go early since the husband had to finish setting things up for graduation. We went to this sidewalk cafe next to MS Garden hotel where the graduation was going to be held. I got a hambuger as our dinner was going to be very late. The inside was still raw so I didn't eat it. We went up early and finished getting things ready. Graduation was suppsed to start at 8:00p.m. as that is after one of the prayer times. Just like last year we had people that came after 8 so we didn't start until closer to 8:30p.m. We did it a little different this year. We did the International parade where all the students introduce themselves first. This year the student went up on the stage to the center, so that everyone in the audience could see them since that was a complaint last year. Then we watched this years video recapping the year. After that there was the music of ESL class, Middle School Music, and then Malay. They have always done the music performances on a small side stage while the owner, board of directors, and teachers sst on the stage. This year they did the performances on the center stage while we stayed down in the audience, because we have grown so much the groups were too big to be crowded on to the side stage in the corner. It was much nicer since the focus was on them and not us. Also, it was nice to be able to watch the performances from the front instead of from the back. After the three songs were over then the owner, board of directors, and teachers went up on the stage. We were up there for the speeches, award certificates and diplomas being given. The students were more bored and disrespectful this year. They didn't even pay attention or sit in their seats until we got to giving out the awards and they had to pay attention to their names being called. During the rest of the time they were taking pictures, talking and playing games on their devices. Many of the parents weren't paying attention either. Then after that there was the picture taking session. The photographer that they have always used said that the group was too big now to do us all in one photo. So it was split up middle school and high school with the staff, etc. Then it was time for dinner which was again at 10:00p.m. like last year. The salad and soup was good. I got beef again. Instead of being overcooked and hard to eat like last year it was raw, so I still didn't eat it. Then there was dessert which was good. I went around and took pictures during the dinner. After that it was time to go home and go to bed since the next day was school. I got home and into bed about midnight. Wednesday and Thursday were just half days for the students. We just hung out in the morning. We didn't do house games this year as everyone was tired and ready for the school year to be over. Not many of the students showed up anyway. In the afternoon we did lunch and then visited and I cleaned out my classroom area. On Wednesday we went for Nasi Cocous which some of the locals haven't had, but I have had before. I also went out with a co-worker to Tutti Frutti frozen yogurt one last time after school was over for teachers on Wednesday. On Thursday we went to Sara Thai for lunch. It is the great Thai restaurant that I love and they always have great fish. Most of the teachers were able to come with. Thursday evening the lady who has been driving me to and from school this whole year invited me out for pizza and salads at La Casa a new restuarant. It was a nice time. It was her, her son, and her foreign exchange student from Germany. Friday was the last day of school. We got the yearbook at the beginning of the day and spent at least an hour signing yearbooks. After that the middle school had their award session and then high school had theirs. Next, was the party which was really just cake and more signing of yearbooks. At the very end report cards were given out before students had to rush off for Friday prayers. I had to wait for my ride so I was the last one there. Three of my middle school students gave me a hug before they had to catch the bus. Others said good-bye but we have talked about this for months, so they know I was not going to be changing my mind and I already know that they will miss me and wished I wasn't leaving, so there was no big to do. After school I worked on final preparations. That evening I got invited to another friend's house for dinner and a movie. I got to see "Mirror Mirror". We talked until late. Saturday I got up early and cleaned my room and finished packing the last of my things. Right after I got done then the landlord had a guy come service my a/c so I had to to a little bit of cleaning up again after the guy left. My friends came in the afternoon to get me and my stuff, plus the rest of the stuff I was giving them. We went out for lunch since I didn't have any food left. I went in the evening with my friend one last time to the Swiss Garden Resort while she played piano so that I could enjoy it one last time. Sunday I got up and went to the Buddhist Temple with another friend one last time and hung out while she was teaching classes. It was nice there. I saw ten otters come out of their den while I was outside relaxing. I don't think anyone else noticed because they were all being noisy and feeding the fish and turtles. Then we met up with another friend for lunch at Witchery Ider. I was able to have my favorite dish and pearl or bubble tea one last time. After that they dropped me at the house of the friends I am staying at and visited for awhile. Then it was a short time before we went off to the home of the Director of Studies for dinner with him and his wife. Their kids were there and they played with my friends' daughter. It was a nice time. We were there for a long time and were ready for bed after that. In the middle of the night I woke up and the power was out because of a storm. It was so hot in the room I stay in that I couldn't sleep and my ears were ringing really loudly. After it came back on I slept well until it was time to get up and get ready for another set of friends coming over for a lunch I made and to say good bye to me. It was a nice time. Of course, time went by too fast. After that I watched a movie and just hung out with my friends. On Tuesday I got up and went to sign for my June paycheck for and turn in my keys for my room and ran other errands.  We went for a walk on the beach about sunset. We saw two large jellyfish that must have come in with high tide and got stuck up on the beach. Tuesday night we went out for roti tissue and teh tarik tea one last time. Wednesday I got up and finished packing the last of my things that I needed to use that morning to shower and then I made a quick call on Skype so my Mom and Dad could say hi to my friends and then it was off to the airport. While waiting another teacher showed up and the Director of Studies and his wife also showed up, so I had several people at the airport to see me off and wish me the best. It was nice, but at the same time very sad. I know I left part of my heart in Kuantan with some of the people who are my friends and I am so glad they came into my life.